Nigenteki Uindo: Dual Winds
by Jackal Antern XIII
Summary: The death of a spiritually aware nobody leads to the adventur of aa afterlife. Dual Winds follows the afterlife of Kouken, as he strives to be the best at what he is... Self-insert, self/harem m/f/f/f. . .


Here is my first fic ever. I ask you to review, whatever your opinion may be. Praise, flame or whatever. Just remember that if you do flame, please give the reason for your displeasure. Thank you.

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach, if I did I'd be rich and not writing this.

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On with the story

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I forget when it first started, when I was first able to see them. The ghosts, the spirits, the Pluses, and of course the Hollows. One thing I do remember is that the first time I saw a hollow devour a soul, I freaked. I spent half a year seeing a shrink because they thought I was crazy. Well, that's all ancient history for me. It was about a year after that when I saw my first Shinigami, and included in said sighting was my first konso, or soul burial.

Well, here is my story from when my life was changed, or actually my . . . death?

--

"seriously, who dies from a damn paper cut. Granted, it wasn't the paper cut that killed me, just the infection that came with it." said a tall redhead with a strange chain on his chest. "i just wish my death was more dignified." he said with a sigh.

Just then a doctor walked into the room, "hello, Tsuyoi-san. I've come to check on you." said the doctor. Just then he spotted the IV that was hanging by the hospital bed. "Shit, who gave this guy Penicillin. He's allergic." yelled an irate doctor, "This has malpractice written all over it." he said as he ran out the door.

suddenly the soul yelled, "What! That idiot nurse gave me penicillin. Even after I told them I was allergic." then sighing, "Well at least this asshole got it right." after taking in his surroundings and appearance, "Hey, this chain is exactly like those guys' that I see runnin' around town. I guess that means they were all dead too." said the soul, "though one thing I don't get is WHY THE FUCK AM I TALKING TO MYSELF! Must be some kind of post traumatic stress thingy."

Just then a few people walked in and started to remove his body from the room. Deciding that I would probably be stupid to keep following his body around, the soul begins walking towards the hospital entrance. As he is passing the reception desk he hears someone say his name.

"What did you say your brother's name was ma'am?" said the nurse behind the desk

"I said Tsuyoi, Kouken Mitsukai. The idiot had to change his name last year. I mean what's wrong with W-- M--?" said an aggravated blonde.

Finally the nurse was done searching for the blonde's brother. "I'm sorry ma'am, it seems he died awhile ago. The doctor just called his family."

"what do you mean? I didn't get a call." just then the blonde's cellphone rang. Looking down at it, she sees that it is the doctor. "Well I guess the doctor just called Mom and Dad first." Answering the phone, her expression begins to change. "ha, that idiot brother of mine dies because you gave him the wrong medicine. What's Mom gonna do about it?" after hearing the doctor's reply, "oh, didn't expect that. Hey, is it alright with you if I see the body, I'm already at the hospital? I can. Okay, be right there." the blonde then walks off.

"Well ha to you too." huffs the newly labeled Kouken. "Just because I'm dead doesn't mean I can't hear you." he says while storming out the door. " I think I'll go to the bookstore, I always did like to read," and then he added with a mischievous smirk, "and I can probably scare the crap out of a few idiots too."

--

"Man, I can't do anything. Can't pick up a book, can't scare anyone, can't even drink a good frappuccino." said a scowling Kouken. "Hey, maybe I can find one of those sword-wielding guys in black. HEY, SWORD-DUDES, COME OUT COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE!!" yell Kouken as he walked out of the bookstore.

And, after a few hours of shouting. "Hey, Sword dudes. I've been shouting for a good four hours now. Why don't you feakin' show up?!"

"You talking to me?" said a voice from ontop of a light-post.

Turning to look, Kouken sees one of the 'sword-dudes' standing on the light post. "Yeah, I've been lookin' for you guys. I've seen you around hangin' with other dead guys. And killin' those big things wearin' masks." Shouted Kouken.

"You've seen Hollows? Before or after you died?" asked the 'sword-dude.'

"If that's what there called, then yeah I've seen them. And before I died. My family still thinks I made it up." huffed Kouken. "Why'd you ask anyway? Okay, so I guess it's not every day you see ghosts."

"well, if you've seen them before you died. That means you had an abnormal amount of reiatsu. Don't ask what that is. It's too hard to explain. Anyway, have you seen any around lately?"asked mr. Dude.

"No, the last one I saw was killed by one of you guys a few months back. Who or what are you anyway?" asked Kouken.

"i am a shinigami. That means . . ." began the shinigami.

"Death god. So that explains a bit. Oh, and what's that thing you do to the other dead guys? The thing where you tap them with the pommel of your sword. That send 'em to the afterlife or something?" asked Kouken.

"It is called a konso, or soul burial. And yes, it does send them to soul society, the afterlife as you put it." replied the death god. "now if you don't mind, i'll do one on you."

"Go right ahead death dude. See ya whenever." said Kouken before he was konso'd.

"He's a weird one,"said the shinigami, "hope he gets to be under Kenpachi-taichou." he said before leaving.

--

a tall redhead suddenly appears in the seventeenth area of Rokungai wearing a pale gray yukata with a charcoal obi. He looks around for a moment before saying, "where the hell am I and why am I wearing a yukata?" while simultaneously thinking _hey, this thing looks good. Wish I had found a good one like this before I died._ Walking over to an older man sitting in front of what appeared to be a bar, he asks "Hey, ojiji. Where am I? I just got sent here by that shinigami guy." asks the new arrival.

The old man looks up and smiles, saying "you are in the seventeenth district of Rokungai. May I ask your name young man?" he asked still smiling.

"Sure jiji, I'm Kouken, Tsuyoi Kouken. So this is soul society, huh. So do the shinigami live here, or somewhere else?" said Kouken sitting by the other man.

"No, they live in Seireitei, the court of pure souls. It is that area over there, with those tall towers." replied the kind old man.

"Thank you for the information jiji." said Kouken. Then with a thoughtful face he asks, "Jiji, what is reiatsu? The shinigami I met said something about me having an abnormal amount."

"He said that? Then you will probably become a shinigami. You're lucky, they are sending out scouts next week for potentials. If you like, you could stay with my family until then. And don't worry about food, we don't need to eat. That is the nature of being dead." said the old man, still smiling. "I am Kawa Kashikoi, by the way."

"Thank you Kawa-san, I would be grateful." said Kouken, bowing his head.

--

The next week, when the shinigami came in search of new recruits, the only one found in all of Rokungai was Kouken, though a few of the noble families were entering their children into the shinigami academy. And luck him, he's the only male.

--

during the entrance into the Shinigami-Gakuin, Kouken realizes his situation. From what he heard from Kawa-san, the dorms were co-ed. And the only choices for his own room-mates were, of course, all female. _Just great, I hope they don't mind rooming with me. I tend to be a bit messy. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk. _Just then, Yamamato-sotaichou walked up onto the platform to speak. And immediately a thought flashed through Kouken's mind, _I betcha' all the money I had saved up that he's gonna mention me._

"Welcome to the academy. It is amazing, but this year there is only one soul from Rokungai, an odd occurrence. Not only that, but I believe that he is a new soul also. We will expect much from you Tsuyoi-san." said Yamamato-sotaichou, with what Kouken thought was a perverted grin on his face. But it appears that he was the only one who saw it, as he was the only one left not looking at himself.

_Oh great, Yamamato-sotaichou is _ecchi, _and in a big way too gauging by that grin of his. It looks like life will either be heaven, or hell on soul society._ Because of his thoughts, he did not notice the looks he was getting from some(read: all) of his class-mates. Then Yamamato continued.

"We of the Gotei thirteen cannot wait for the outcome of this class. I wish you luck and good tidings." he said, ending with a soft smile. "And now for room placements." The entire room hurried to the bulletin that had the room assignments posted on it, well all except Kouken. It took two minutes for the first girl's fan-girl-scream to be heard, followed seconds later by two others. Kouken immediately knew the meaning. Room-mates. Seconds later, he was dragged off by three girls to what he assumed was his dorm room.

The last thing to pass through his mind before the door closed was, _Kami why?_

--

"So, what's your name Tsuyoi-san?"

"How old are you?"

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Are you a natural redhead?"

"How'd you die?"

"Will you be my boy friend?"

"No, be mine."

"No, mine."(insert sound of three girls fighting here)

"Ladies!" Shouted Kouken. And after the three had stopped, "My full name is Tsuyoi Kouken Mitsukai, I am twenty-one, I don't have a girlfriend, yes I am a natural redhead, I don't want to say how I died, and finally, maybe to all three of you. I mean, I don't even know your names yet." said a exasperated Kouken. "and you can call me Kou."

The three girls played Jon-Ken-Po to see who would go first.

The victor, a girl of about nineteen stepped forward. She had gray-green eyes and chestnut brown colored hair that fell to just past her shoulder-blades, and was a good 157cm tall. Though he wouldn't have said, he was admiring her large C-cup breasts. "I am Shiba Hanabi, my cousin Kaien graduated last year." she said just before glomping him.

Following her was a girl with blue-black hair, bound in a braid falling to the small of her back. She topped out at 164cm. She was probably no older that Hanabi and twice as forward. "Mosh' mosh, I'm Hana. Wanna go out for dango later?" said Hana before glomping him and all but shoving his face between her double-D breasts.

"Uh, sure. I guess." mumbled Kou from between her cleavage.

"yay!" shouted Hana before jumping off of him.

And finally came the third girl. She was, by far, the shortest of the three, at a humble142cm. She had jet black hair that fell loose to her calves. Kouken couldn't help but notice that she probably had a pair of double-F cup breasts, since they were eye level to his sitting form. "Ano, I'm Fon Bakufu. Ano, could I join you when you go for dango? If that's alright with you?" she said blushing.

"yeah, yeah, me too." exclaimed Hanabi.

"Don't worry about it Kou-kun. I'll pay for it."offered Hana.

--

Sorry people. I had a random moment. I realized that writing makes me happy. And for me, being happy is very, very, VERY rare.

Again, sorry for my randomness.

--

"Mmm, this is good. You know, I've never had dango before." Kou said before tossing another piece into his mouth, "Now I think I understand why Anko from 'Naruto' liked dango so much."

"Who's Anko?" asked Hanabi, "I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend."

"I didn't and I don't." sighed Kou, "Anko is a character from one of the first mangas I ever read. The name of that manga is _Naruto_. Got it?"

"Hai." said all three girls.

"Now, I know there were ulterior motives for going out to eat dango. So what are they?" asked Kouken, his expression becoming an emotionless mask.

"Ano, Kou-kun. What makes you think that?" asked the shy Bakufu.

"Well, for starters, the pack of girls sneaking up on us that you three kept peeking at." Kou said, popping another piece of dango, "Next, a girl never offers to pay unless she wants something. And finally, the fact that all of you have tried to slip something into my dango." he finished, making all the girls wince. "it's a good thing I pulled them out as I tossed them into my mouth. They don't look to healthy." he commented, looking at three distinct pills in his hand.

Seeing the pills in his hand Hana gasped. Grabbed the pills, grabbed the other two girls, and then ran out of the shop.

"Figured." grumbled Kouken, then under his breath, "Good thing I swiped Hana's money."

"Excuse me sir, but are you done?" asked the clerk of the shop. Popping the last piece of dango in his mouth Kouken nods and pays their bill.

"Now to go find the girls." said Kou.

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A/N:

So, how do you like it so far? remember to R&R.


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